Audio - Dealing with Conflicts in the Church

New Site at TheGJCOC.com!

Introduction.

1. We all need to know how to deal with conflicts in life.

2. Whether it be at home, at work, or within the church.

3. This morning I would like to talk to you about dealing with conflicts within the church.

4. It is extremely important that we know how to handle conflicts when they arise.

Body.

I. First, we need to realize that no matter what conflicts may arise, we simply must stay faithful to God.

A. Many seem to have the idea that when they have a conflict with someone in the church, they must leave it.

1. This really stems from spiritual immaturity.

2. This would be like me smacking my wife every time someone made me angry.

3. It is not the Lord's fault that a brother or sister offended you.

4. Therefore, why should one become unfaithful to God?

B. Sometimes, rather than leave the church, a person or family will just leave the congregation and go to another.

1. Again, this is spiritual immaturity.

2. Children are the ones who leave when they get angry.

3. Adults are supposed to work out their problems.

C. Some Biblical examples.

1. When Paul and Barnabas had their disagreement they still remained faithful to God (Acts 15:36-41). "And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the LORD, and see how they do. And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches."

a. They both continued in God's work.

b. They did not hate each other but realized that they could not come to an agreement and separated.

c. He still recommended Barnabas to the Colossian brethren (Colossians 4:10).

2. When Paul confronted Peter in Galatians 2:11-14. "But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?"

a. Again, here is a disagreement between two brothers.

b. However, I don't see either one leaving the church.

c. They both remain faithful to God.

D. If we make up our mind that we are going to stay faithful to God, we should be able to easily handle conflicts among ourselves.

II. We must realize that we are not perfect either.

A. The church is not made up of perfect individuals. (1 John 1:8) "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:10) "If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

B. Therefore, it should not surprise us when someone makes a mistake.

C. Sometimes that mistake may be a sin against one of us.

D. In handling this, we must first remember that it could just as easily have been us doing the wrong.

E. This helps us to handle the situation correctly.

1. Galatians 6:1. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

2. We need to consider ourselves unless we also be tempted.

3. It is sinful to have an "holier than thou" attitude.

III. Next, we need to handle the problem.

"Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." (Matthew 18:15-17)

A. First of all, notice who we do not go to.

1. We do not go to our family members.

2. We do not go to other members of the church.

3. We do not go to our friends outside the church.

B. We are to go to the individual who sinned against us and talk to them.

1. Rather than let that anger fester, we should go to that individual.

2. It matters not if we are the one who sinned or if we were sinned against.

3. We are to go to them.

4. We are to go to them alone at first and tell them what the problem is.

5. It is amazing how many problems this could solve.

6. When a faithful brother realizes that he has offended another, they should always be willing to apologize. I have yet to see the case where this has not happened.

7. However, I have seen the case where there was never any effort to resolve the conflict and it seriously hurt the church.

C. If that individual will not repent, we are to take one or two others with us that everything may be established.

1. This amounts to getting the facts straight.

2. Bring others along also helps to straighten out the problem as they are not emotionally involved.

3. By bringing others, it will also help to find out if this is something over which the church needs to be concerned.

D. If the brother or sister still refuses to repent we are to tell it to the church and withdraw from that one.

IV. We need to be willing to forgive and forget.

A. If the brother repents, we are to forgive him.

"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." (Luke 17:3-4)

1. Sometimes, we are willing to forgive but not forget.

2. Christ even goes so for as to say that if our brother were to sin against us seven times in a day and repent seven times, we should forgive him.

B. Do we do this, or do we prefer to hold a grudge?

C. If we do not forgive our brothers, God will not forgive us.

1. Matthew 5:21-24. "Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."

2. Matthew 6:14-15. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

3. Matthew 18:21-35. What if God held a grudge?

4. 1 John 2:9-11. "He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes."

New Site at GJCOC.us!

P.O. Box 307408, Gahanna, Ohio 43230 • Meeting at 7816 Havens Road, Blacklick, Ohio

10/05/2012

New Site at TheGJCOC.com!

To help us all to better deal with conflicts amongst ourselves. Text: Matthew 18:15-17.

Introduction.

1. We all need to know how to deal with conflicts in life.

2. Whether it be at home, at work, or within the church.

3. This morning I would like to talk to you about dealing with conflicts within the church.

4. It is extremely important that we know how to handle conflicts when they arise.

Body.

I. First, we need to realize that no matter what conflicts may arise, we simply must stay faithful to God.

A. Many seem to have the idea that when they have a conflict with someone in the church, they must leave it.

1. This really stems from spiritual immaturity.

2. This would be like me smacking my wife every time someone made me angry.

3. It is not the Lord's fault that a brother or sister offended you.

4. Therefore, why should one become unfaithful to God?

B. Sometimes, rather than leave the church, a person or family will just leave the congregation and go to another.

1. Again, this is spiritual immaturity.

2. Children are the ones who leave when they get angry.

3. Adults are supposed to work out their problems.

C. Some Biblical examples.

a. They both continued in God's work.

b. They did not hate each other but realized that they could not come to an agreement and separated.

c. He still recommended Barnabas to the Colossian brethren (Colossians 4:10).

a. Again, here is a disagreement between two brothers.

b. However, I don't see either one leaving the church.

c. They both remain faithful to God.

D. If we make up our mind that we are going to stay faithful to God, we should be able to easily handle conflicts among ourselves.

II. We must realize that we are not perfect either.

A. The church is not made up of perfect individuals. (1 John 1:8) "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:10) "If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

B. Therefore, it should not surprise us when someone makes a mistake.

C. Sometimes that mistake may be a sin against one of us.

D. In handling this, we must first remember that it could just as easily have been us doing the wrong.

E. This helps us to handle the situation correctly.

1. Galatians 6:1. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

2. We need to consider ourselves unless we also be tempted.

3. It is sinful to have an "holier than thou" attitude.

III. Next, we need to handle the problem.

A. First of all, notice who we do not go to.

1. We do not go to our family members.

2. We do not go to other members of the church.

3. We do not go to our friends outside the church.

B. We are to go to the individual who sinned against us and talk to them.

1. Rather than let that anger fester, we should go to that individual.

2. It matters not if we are the one who sinned or if we were sinned against.

3. We are to go to them.

4. We are to go to them alone at first and tell them what the problem is.

5. It is amazing how many problems this could solve.

6. When a faithful brother realizes that he has offended another, they should always be willing to apologize. I have yet to see the case where this has not happened.

7. However, I have seen the case where there was never any effort to resolve the conflict and it seriously hurt the church.

C. If that individual will not repent, we are to take one or two others with us that everything may be established.

1. This amounts to getting the facts straight.

2. Bring others along also helps to straighten out the problem as they are not emotionally involved.

3. By bringing others, it will also help to find out if this is something over which the church needs to be concerned.

D. If the brother or sister still refuses to repent we are to tell it to the church and withdraw from that one.

IV. We need to be willing to forgive and forget.

A. If the brother repents, we are to forgive him.

"Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." (Luke 17:3-4)

1. Sometimes, we are willing to forgive but not forget.

2. Christ even goes so for as to say that if our brother were to sin against us seven times in a day and repent seven times, we should forgive him.

B. Do we do this, or do we prefer to hold a grudge?

C. If we do not forgive our brothers, God will not forgive us.

2. Matthew 6:14-15. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

3. Matthew 18:21-35. What if God held a grudge?

Conclusion.

1. Have you handled conflicts correctly?

2. Are you one who forgives or one who likes to hold grudges?

3. Now is the time to get it right.